Struggling with Painful Intimacy? Lubrication Could Be the Game-Changer You Need
Did you know sexual function is one of the main functions of the pelvic floor?
Our pelvic floor plays a huge part in our sexual function and enjoyment. Understanding our anatomy and how our body works are important aspect of enhancing sexual pleasure and satisfaction. For an overview of our pelvic floor anatomy, read this blog.
The Role of Lubrication in Sexual Health
Lubrication is essential for reducing friction, preventing irritation, and enhancing overall comfort during intimacy, especially penetration. Without proper lubrication, irritation and discomfort can occur. This is why using personal lubricants can benefit people of all ages and life stages.
It is important to note that pain is not a normal part of intimacy and can be a sign of pelvic floor dysfunction, including overactive pelvic floor muscles. If you are experiencing pain with intimacy, consult with a pelvic floor therapist.
Common Causes of Vaginal Dryness
Many factors can contribute to vaginal dryness, including:
Hormonal changes: Menopause, perimenopause, postpartum, and breastfeeding can all decrease natural lubrication and libido due to fluctuating estrogen levels.
Medications: Certain antidepressants, antihistamines, hormonal birth control, and chemotherapy can cause dryness and decreased libido as a side effect
Stress and anxiety: Emotional and mental well-being play a crucial role in sexual function, and chronic stress can reduce libido and natural lubrication.
Medical conditions: Conditions affecting blood flow, hormones, and nerves in the pelvic region can impact desire, arousal, and vaginal moisture.
Dehydration: Staying hydrated is essential for overall bodily function, including natural lubrication.
Arousal and Lubrication
Arousal plays a vital role in intimacy, stimulating lubrication production to reduce friction, protect delicate tissues, and enhance comfort. However, arousal and lubrication don't always go hand in hand. Someone may feel aroused yet still experience insufficient lubrication for comfortable intimacy. Conversely, a person may have adequate lubrication but not feel aroused or desire intimacy. Open communication with your partner about your comfort and readiness is key to fostering a positive and fulfilling experience. Personal lubricants can offer added comfort and enjoyment if lubrication is lacking or you wish to enhance sensation.
Side Note: Emily Nagoski’s Come As You Are is an excellent read if you’re interested in learning more about the science behind arousal and how understanding your body can improve your sex life!
The Importance of Using Lube
Using lubricant is a simple way to promote comfort, protect tissues, and increase pleasure with intimacy. Personal lubricants aren’t just for solving problems—they enhance pleasure, comfort, and safety for all bodies at any age. However, shopping for lube can be overwhelming since not all options are suitable for every body (and some aren’t ideal for anyone!). Understanding the different types of lube can help you make the best choice for your needs.
Types of Lubricants
There are four main types of personal lubricants, each with unique benefits and drawbacks.
Silicone-Based (Great for Daily Moisture)
Examples: Überlube, Sliquid Silver, Pjur Woman, Pjur Med Soft Glide
✔️ Hypoallergenic—doesn’t soak into the skin, no preservatives needed
✔️ Longest-lasting lube option
✔️ Compatible with all safer sex barriers, including pre-lubricated condoms
❌ Not always compatible with silicone sex toys
Plant Oil-Based (Not recommended for Penetration)
Examples: Yes oil, VitE, Rosehip oil, Coconut oil
✔️ Hydrates and improves skin elasticity over time; great for scar care!
✔️ Longer-lasting than water-based lubes
✔️ The only 100% organic option
✔️ Compatible with non-toxic sex toys
❌ Not compatible with latex or polyisoprene condoms
❌ Takes longer to clear from the body, increasing risk for infections if prone to BV, UTIs, or yeast overgrowth; therefore not recommended as lubricant with penetration
Water-Based (Safe for Toys)
Examples: Sliquid Sassy, Pjur Med Repair Glide Water Based, Yes, Good Clean Love, Aloe Cadabra, Sliquid Organics
✔️ Feels most like natural lubrication
✔️ Safe for all sex toys and safer sex barriers
❌ Dries out the fastest, requiring reapplication
❌ Often contains preservatives and has the longest ingredient list, making irritation more likely for sensitive users; important to make sure it is pH based
Hybrid (Silicone + Water)
✔️ Less irritating than water-based but not fully hypoallergenic
✔️ Longer-lasting than water-based but shorter than silicone
✔️ Safe for all sex toys and safer sex barriers
❌ Newer product with less research available
Why pH Matters
If you experience burning or stinging when using lube, its pH might be the culprit.
Vaginal pH plays a key role in maintaining a healthy balance of bacteria and yeast, helping to protect against infections. It naturally fluctuates throughout the menstrual cycle and is closely linked to estrogen and progesterone levels.
With menopause or other causes of decreased estrogen, vaginal pH may rise from its usual range of 3.5–5.5 to around 6–7. This change is natural and doesn’t necessarily indicate poor health. However, it can make the vagina more vulnerable to bacterial vaginosis (BV), urinary tract infections (UTIs), yeast overgrowth, and other pathogens. Combined with other effects of low estrogen, this shift in pH can increase sensitivity to acidic lubricants, sometimes causing a burning or stinging sensation.
Anal pH is naturally 6–7, staying stable throughout life regardless of hormone changes. This pH helps protect the rectal mucous membranes from absorbing harmful substances and acts as a barrier between the body and alkaline fecal matter. Since many personal lubricants have a pH around 4–5, they may cause irritation or stinging during anal play—especially if there are small tears or sores. To reduce discomfort, choosing a lubricant with a pH closer to 6–7 is ideal. Silicone and plant oil-based lubes are also popular for anal play, as they don’t have pH concerns.
Choosing a pH-Balanced Lubricant
Vaginal Lubes: Aim for a pH between 3.5 and 5 to support healthy vaginal flora.
Anal Lubes: Choose a pH closer to 6–7 to reduce irritation.
Menopausal or Postpartum: Lubes closer to 5–7 may feel more comfortable for those with less natural acidity.
Why Osmolality Matters
Osmolality is an important but often overlooked factor when choosing a personal lubricant. It refers to the concentration of dissolved particles in a solution, which affects how the lubricant interacts with your body’s tissues. Here's what to consider:
High Osmolality Lubes: These can pull moisture out of your cells, potentially causing irritation, dryness, and damage to sensitive tissues. This can increase the risk of infections or discomfort.
Low Osmolality Lubes: These may add moisture to the tissues but can break down too quickly, requiring frequent reapplication.
Ideal Osmolality Ranges
Vaginal Lubes: The World Health Organization (WHO) recommends a maximum osmolality of 1,200 mOsm/kg for vaginal lubricants, but ideally closer to 280–380 mOsm/kg (similar to natural vaginal secretions) for optimal comfort and safety.
Anal Lubes: Since the rectal lining is more delicate and lacks natural lubrication, a lube with an osmolality close to iso-osmotic (around 270–300 mOsm/kg) is ideal for reducing irritation and minimizing tissue damage.
What to Look For
Look for labels that specify "iso-osmotic" or "low osmolality" for optimal comfort.
Water-based lubes are most likely to list osmolality details.
Silicone and oil-based lubes generally have safer osmolality levels due to their unique formulations.
Ingredients to Avoid
Avoid lubes containing these ingredients, as they can cause irritation, infections, or other health concerns:
Glycerin(e): Sugar alcohol linked to yeast overgrowth and high osmolality. Avoid if listed in the first three ingredients.
Propylene Glycol: A petrochemical that increases BV risk and can cause allergic reactions over time.
Nonoxynol-9 & Chlorhexidine Gluconate: Antimicrobial agents that kill healthy bacteria, increasing STI susceptibility.
Petroleum Oils: Breed bacteria and take too long to clear from the body.
Polyquaternium-15: A preservative that may enhance viral activity, including HIV transmission risk.
Benzocaine: A numbing agent that can mask pain, potentially leading to injury or chronic pain issues.
Sugars (e.g., glucose, honey, maltodextrin): Feed yeast and disrupt vaginal balance—avoid in any lube used internally.
Choosing the right lube can enhance comfort, pleasure, and overall health. Look for body-safe ingredients and pH-balanced formulas to support your body’s natural function!
How Pelvic Floor Dysfunction Can Affect Lubrication
If you are experiencing pain with intimacy, it may be a sign of pelvic floor dysfunction, including overactive pelvic floor muscles. This can be caused by:
Chronic stress or anxiety
Trauma (physical or emotional)
Habitual clenching of pelvic muscles
Postpartum or menopausal hormonal changes
Difficulty connecting with and coordinating pelvic floor muscles
Pelvic floor occupational therapy can address these factors to improve comfort and pleasure.
Pelvic Floor Therapy and Sexual Wellness
In addition to helping you find the right personal lubricant for you, a trained pelvic floor therapist can help address the many factors that impact pelvic floor dysfunction.:
Hands on techniques to address muscle coordination, strength, and pain
Breathing mechanics and pressure management
Postural and positional adjustments for improved function and decreased pain
Mindfulness and nervous system regulation to improve connection with muscles, manage stres, anxiety, and pain
Trauma processing to ease muscle tension and improve comfort with intimacy
Addressing these factors in pelvic floor therapy can make a significant difference in your comfort and pleasure.
The Bottom Line
Using the right lubricant enhances comfort, protects sensitive tissues, and supports sexual wellness. Choosing a high-quality, pH-balanced lubricant can be a game-changer for intimacy. If pain interferes with intimacy, pelvic floor therapy can help address underlying dysfunction and restore confidence and pleasure.
Restorative Foundations Pelvic Health & Wellness
We specialize in helping individuals regain comfort and confidence in their bodies. If you experience pain with intimacy, vaginal dryness, or other pelvic floor concerns, you don’t have to suffer in silence.
Schedule your complimentary discovery call to explore how Restorative Foundations Pelvic Health & Wellness can support you on your pelvic wellness journey. This no-obligation, 15-minute video call is an opportunity for us to connect, discuss your needs, and answer any questions. If you decide to move forward, you’ll have the option to schedule your initial evaluation and take the first step toward improved pelvic health.
Click here to schedule your call today!
Why Choose Restorative Foundations Pelvic Health & Wellness?
Restorative Foundations empowers women through pregnancy, postpartum, and all stages of life by offering expert, holistic care designed to fit seamlessly into busy schedules.
We offer flexible in-home, virtual, and hybrid visits to make expert care accessible and convenient.
As a mom herself, founder Sarah Kate Orton, OTR/L, understands how hard it is to prioritize self-care. That’s why we bring pelvic health services to you—eliminating the stress of travel, childcare, and scheduling conflicts.